TIGER'S KEEP BUSY OVER WINTER MONTHS
Tigers Keep Busy Over Winter Months
As season 2012/13 rapidly approaches, this is the time of year that players, wives, girlfriends, supporters and parents often wonder what all the Tiger boys might have been up to during the off-season.
Has any of our footballing cricketers been looked at by AFL clubs? Has anyone kicked 10 sausages to win their grand final? Did anyone let themselves go completely and rocked up to pre-season training looking like Peter Griffen?
Let's find out.
Surprising us all, Micky Mc has kept a lid on his winter pud this year and fronts up to season 2012/13 in reasonable shape. Good to see him learn from his disastrous pot belly from the preceding winter.
This year's 3rd XI skipper has spent the winter months predictably glued to his iPhone checking the fanfooty website and his dreamteam scores. Unfortunately it was all in vain and he lost his Snuff Cup title this year, being unceremoniously bundled out of the finals in straight sets by emerging dreamteam power Dylan Allsopp.
Unfortunately there's very little light we can shed on what the big Chief has been doing this winter, as no-one has really seen much of the big man since he got a girlfriend a while back.
Aside from his regular 9 to 5 gig at Cricket Victoria, the man with a head that's just a bit too small for the rest of his body spent most Friday or Saturday nights since winning the premiership circling the dancefloor at the Precinct making drunken dolphin noises at female sealife.
Now that summer's here he won't be able to spend Friday nights there anymore, but that's ok, the Dolphin somehow grew some teeth at some point and has snared a Dolphinette. And he is swimming in waters far too deep for his flipper size.
A golden summer continued on to a super winter for Matthew Shimell.
Playing a little footy for Bayswater when his body held up, Brendan has been spending his injured/downtimes on the various social media that are so popular today.
Spewing forth a constant stream of right-wing, jingoistic and conservative opinion that wouldn't be out of place in one of Andrew Bolt's columns in the Herald Sun, Tangles has been taking no prisoners on Twitter all winter.
The new season sees Pez take on Premier Cricket as a father for the first time. He's been spending the winter passing on his fine genes and character traits to his beautiful little girl Eliza, she's already got the food on the chin thing down pat.
Will fatherhood make Pez a wiser, better player? Or will it mess with his focus out in the middle. Time will tell!
Jake's highlight of winter '12 came when the unfortunate folk behind the 7-Eleven franchise accidentally coincided their "˜Bring Your Own Cup" day for their slurpee machines with a state-wide teacher's strike.
What dreams are made of, Jakey was like the cat that got the cream - facebook photos show him there indeed from 7 in the morning until 11 at night, and stretching the rules to their absolute limit by using an esky and a saucepan to bring home his sugary bounty.
While most Tigers are at high risk of developing skin cancer and liver damage from years of sun and Carlton Draught, Jakey has very high risk factor for type 2 diabetes at this stage of his life.
Winter is a busy time for Watto. Living in Melbourne, a place full of great culture and arts/entertainment, Jimmy has been busy buying tickets to his own shows at places like the art gallery's "˜Winter Masterpieces" and various musical theatre productions.
The question is were they any good? Just ask Watto, he'll tell you.
Not to be confused with Peter Griffen, the fat cartoon character mentioned at the top of this article, Griffo has been hard at it in the gym all winter in a continued effort to build calf muscles that are bigger than his own head.
Tragically, we play cricket with long pants on, so look for Griff to be up and about in his shorts in each and every warm-up, trying to get those calves seen by as many team-mates and opponents as possible, before the long strides have to go on.
Spent most of April/May in Rivers' clothing store sniffing out bargains in their end-of-summer sales.
Spent most of September in Rivers' clothing store sniffing out bargains in their end-of-winter sales.
As anyone who is a facebook friend of Rickster can attest, he has been working hard building this city in the cold winter months.
After each hard day on the site, he relaxes by laughing out loud, a lot! Lol! ;-)
Had a fantastic off-season getting down.
Spent the winter playing cricket and chilling out in England. Seemed to be in a lot of photos with his arm around other men.
Questions are being asked.
Has had a rather nasty off-season, attempting to have hand implant surgery so he could have hands big enough to hold the First XI premiership trophy he helped win for the RCC.
Obviously it's a rather unique procedure, and as a result it all went horribly wrong and after numerous botch-ups and nights spent in hospital, doctors had to abort the whole thing and Weeksy's hands are back to their original size.
Chris is back having to be photographed with his arm around blokes who can actually hold the cup, but might be able to grasp a corner of the premiership flag when it is unfurled in round 1. Fingers crossed.
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